Dear _______,

Dear ________,

There is a reason I am writing this letter, and on this day, you know, 14th Feb. I wanted to tell you many things, just talk to you, spend time with you and just be with you. But I never got to do all that. You weren’t available for all this because of many reasons, friends, family, personal reasons. But forget it, I am writing this because as I said I didn't get time to tell you what I feel, what I feel for you.

The thing is, I have started liking you, or rather being honest to myself, ‘I love you’. I don’t know you would believe me or not, probably not and I know why. You would think about my past, won’t you? And the girls in my life, I agree I had them in my life; I was involved with them, but you know what? I never thought at that time we would break up. I really never thought of it. But, we couldn't make it, there were reasons, situations, we had to break up, I never thought of cheating on them, believe me, I was true, you would even think do ‘we’ have future together? We have, trust me, we have.

I am 24 now, I have a job in my hand, I am no more that college going guy, who was immature and didn’t know what was is doing. I am now a guy who knows what he wants and what he is up to. This is not exactly a letter, but, these are the sentences I wanted you hear from me. I know what I am doing, trust me. You make me happy. I am not sure what am I writing, I mean I am sure, 100% sure, what I am doing, I mean with you and me but I am not sure what am I writing, hope you understand. Do you? . On this special day of love I am asking you, will you be my valentine? I want to be with you, I love you, I will never ever hurt you, I will keep you happy, always, and I will make sure there is smile on your face, lifelong. Baby, I love you and I want to marry you of course not now, don’t panic, but yeah somewhere in future, whenever you are ready. I want you to be my life partner.

This is not a joke or a silly prank, this is real, I .....

God !!!!!

I just pray to god you believe me.

And I m telling you too, believe me, I love you and will always do.
The long lasting love, I was never so sure in my life before like I am now.

Trust me.
Love you
Swaraj

What am I suppose to do ?

How can I get her out of my mind? How should I do it? It is getting very difficult for me. We had a discussed and a satisfactory break up, well no break up satisfactory, but yeah, we were okay with it. Even I was, till the day I met her, 6 months after the break up, we met as friends, but when she left....

Man what is this? This is not fair; this shouldn’t be happening with me. Is this obvious? Does this happen with everyone? I am not able to sleep at nights, whenever I close my eyes, her innocent and beautiful face appears, I just visualize her smiling at me, she teasing me in her typical cute ways, hitting me, winking at me, blowing air at my face.

I want to be normal, sleep normally; rather I would love to watch ghosts and monsters instead of her beautiful, cute, sexy, mesmerizing, heavenly, gorgeous, hypnotizing face, whenever I close my eyes. I would not mind that, not at all.

Every song I hear, may it be in Hindi, English, Marathi or even Spanish, (Spanish because language isn’t the bar), I relate the song to her and start missing her. It’s been nearly 12 hours and I have not spoken to her, not even she has sent me a single SMS (text), and these stupid radio stations are continuously playing stupid love songs, damn you RJs. Useless buggers don’t have a heart.

What should I do? We separated for a reason, and that reasons still exists. It is like I can’t be with her and will die if I am not. I don’t even know what is she thinking? Is she missing me the way I do? I hope not, because this is hell, and I can’t see her like that. I shouldn't have met her at the first place. This sucks. Love is just meant for screwing you or may be just half reached love like this.

The name I gave to my blogging account is “The Heart-Mind Connection”, where the hell is it now? Heart wants her, wants her badly and mind thinks practically and has given a solid reason why I shouldn’t be with her, damn you 'my mind'.

What am I suppose to do?